Hello, everyone, and welcome to the first post of…The Cats Review! For anyone who doesn’t know what the heck I am talking about, this is a sort of pre review to my actual review where I ask my cats what they thought of a recent movie. And yes, the cover image for this post is Buddy.
This will be shorter than usual, simply because the contents of this movie made my cats very sleepy for some reason…
P.S: It’s probably a good idea to always look up the summary for the movies for these posts. I’m not going to include one, so yeah.
Me: So, first off, what did you guys think of this movie?
Dwight: It was good. No cats died this time. Unlike that one TV series you guys watched…(Me: Here’s a hint about that show. One, it’s on Netflix. Two, the cat in question looked a little like Dwight. Not a lot, but enough to make him uncomfortable.)
Buddy: It was confusing. I kept forgetting who was who.
Me: Um…okay. Well, what did you guys like specifically?
Dwight: I liked the idea! I sleep a lot, so…yeah.
Buddy: It was pretty! But there was too much water for my taste…it was kinda scary.
Dwight: At least Leonardo Di Caprio didn’t drown again.
Buddy: Wait, again??? 🙀
Dwight: Titanic. The owners watched it a few years ago…oh yeah, you weren’t here yet.
Buddy: Never heard of it, but now I’m scared! (Tail begins to fluff)
Me: Guys, back on topic! (Coughs) I noticed you guys were sleeping a lot while watching it. And Dwight, you ditched us! You slept on my backpack away from the TV room!
Dwight: I said I liked it because no cats died. I didn’t say I enjoyed it. I mean, it made no sense. I dream about hunting birds and eating. Why do humans have to make everything so complicated?
Buddy: Well, I was snuggling on a blanket on mom’s lap…it was warm! Of course I slept!
Me: Hey, no judging. We all slept well that night… (X-Files Theme plays in the distance). Anything else you guys wanna add?
Buddy: Um…that one lady scared me. The French lady. Mal, I think her name was.
Dwight: She scared you? 😹 Buddy, don’t be silly! They’ve watched scarier villains. (Like the Demogorgan…)
Buddy: It was her eyes! They were crazy!
Dwight: Oh. Not gonna argue on that. Oh, and I never expected to feel so bad for The Scarecrow…
Buddy: The Scarecrow?
Dwight: Yeah. The guy who played The Scarecrow in Batman Begins was Robert Fischer here. Buddy, you think Mal was scary? 😼 Wait till you see that guy in Batman Begins…
Me: Dwight! Stop scaring Buddy! (Notices Buddy inching away towards his box that he’s lying in on the cover, presumably trying to take a nap) Well, I guess this wraps up this Cats Review. Until next time!
(In the background)
Dwight: Hey, get out of the box, I wanna sleep!